I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize