Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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