This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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