just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I puked a lego.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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