Kiss
Puke
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
