I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
