Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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