I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
