I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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