I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize