If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
