There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize