All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
