I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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