While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
