yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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