Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
