i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
