the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My liver just had a heart attack.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize