He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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