How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
