This gyro tastes like lonliness
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
