You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize