He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
