She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
