I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize