I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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