I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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