if i died would you start the facebook group?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
