I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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