I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I got chris browned last night
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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