Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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