We're facebook friends in real life
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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