So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
