would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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