Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.

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  (520): I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs. http://tfl.nu/cv5b
  Replies (5) Good night (3664) Bad night (897)
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  (530): View more from California

  If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.

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  (530): If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed. http://tfl.nu/4web
  Replies (6) Good night (3354) Bad night (690)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!

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  (703): I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww! http://tfl.nu/rzts
  Replies (89) Good night (1017) Bad night (13985)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.

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  (317): Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/s8pf
  Replies (51) Good night (5229) Bad night (943)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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  (602): every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels.. http://tfl.nu/8nli
  Replies (6) Good night (2967) Bad night (936)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout

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  (712): the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout http://tfl.nu/qr0c
  Replies (14) Good night (5052) Bad night (875)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair

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  (517): Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair http://tfl.nu/ktbm
  Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (8194)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.

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  (702): she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/em4c
  Replies (16) Good night (6652) Bad night (1113)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

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  (201): It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb. http://tfl.nu/thcm
  Replies (6) Good night (5529) Bad night (1071)
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  (845): View more from New York

  When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"

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  (845): When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine" http://tfl.nu/u1m0
  Replies (23) Good night (1298) Bad night (3907)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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  (501): I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II. http://tfl.nu/1v38
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (622)
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  (873): View more from

  I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in

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  (873): I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in http://tfl.nu/bvll
  Replies (3) Good night (2092) Bad night (523)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.

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  (318): He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free. http://tfl.nu/dxth
  Replies (0) Good night (1004) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  This was the best text I've ever woken up to

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  (734): I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck. (313): This was the best text I've ever woken up to http://tfl.nu/32h8
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (377)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..

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  (541): How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time.. http://tfl.nu/mqtf
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (229)

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