I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
