Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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