Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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