Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
