Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Randomize
