six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
