Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
