what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
