I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
