fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
