So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
