marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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