my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
