u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
