none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
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With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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