i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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