I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
