ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
