He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
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No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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