How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Someone came in the potted fern
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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