I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize