How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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