I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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